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    Latest Misheard Stories

    Artist: Statler Brothers

    Song: Eve

    The Story: Don't eat the fruit in the garden, Eden,, It wasn't in God's natural plan., You were only a rib,, And look at what you did,, To Adam, the father of Man.

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    Artist: Queens of the Stone Age

    Song: You Can't Quit Me Baby

    The Story: You smell like goat, I'll see you in hell

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    Artist: Starship

    Song: Sarah

    The Story: All the b***h had said, all been washed in black

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    Artist: Iron Maiden

    Song: The Prisoner

    The Story: And my blunt is my ho now

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    Artist: Pearl Jam

    Song: Jeremy

    The Story: At home, drawing pictures, Of mounds of tots, With ham on top

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    Well maybe I'm the f**king America

    Artist: Green Day
    Real Lyric: Well maybe I'm the f----- America

    The story:

    Ridiculous that this is getting rejected for improper language, especially as it's a discussion about the language itself and that the word also means a cigarette in my country! (Obviously, more offensive in the website's host country than the word that actually caused me offence.) Nonetheless, I've changed the gay slur to the word "squiggle".

    The radio version is "Well maybe I'm the f----- America". Yes, that's right - it turns out (eight years later, way too late) that "f-----" means "squiggle" (and, as this website won't allow me to print the full word, I'll clarify that it is, potentially, a homosexual slur - depending on who says it, where, when, context etc.). However I understood it to mean "f**king" (and, as this website ineffectively 'censors' that, I'll clarify that is the full unasterisked word and not an asterisked version) and the radio version caused me significant offence when I heard it in a leisure centre, like a shop, and not a nightclub or concert. It is like shouting it across the entire room, amongst a group of strangers, as the amplified sound is heard everywhere across the room.

    I was somewhat surprised when I eventually discovered the true lyric, those years later, when listening to the uncensored version on Youtube in my own home, entirely alone, in a circumstance in which I am not caused offence by swearing.

    For me, the word "squiggle" (obviously the gay slur word not the word "squiggle") is a mild impact word that has no personal impact on me (after all, I've heard over many years in classics such as the uncensored version of "Fairytale of New York" by the Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl and have never yet been caused any offence by it). It seems that this is because the word was not created for me by my parents and teachers (society) as a swearword when I was a young child. It has therefore never had any physical impact on me (I am trying to rationalise about why it doesn't cause me offence).

    However, the word "f**king" (that is the unasterisked word) is a word that was created as swearing and sometimes does have (or has historically had) a quite severe impact on me in certain circumstances, whilst also being amusing in other circumstances depending on the way in which it is said. Sorry I'm going on - I really am literally writing in embarrassing detail lol! Censorship causing misunderstanding and offence. Even now that I know the true lyric, the radio version still comes across as if it means the word "f**king" (the actual unasterisked word) and puts that word in my mind - it implies something worse - and I still think it is inappropriate in that environment as people around me might be thinking it was that word and I feel uncomfortable (and beyond to the point of "offence") as to what they might be thinking it meant. It has removed what, for me, would be a personally inoffensive word (even though that can cause offence, which may be extreme, in some circumstances) and replaced it by a lyric that implies worse.

    I think that, had the original word been used, I would have been caused no personal offence at all by it. However, an earlier lyric in the radio version of the song, played as "The subliminal mind f--k America" would still have caused me offence, and indeed it also did, because I knew what that meant and it also stood out and because everyone around me would, I feel, know what it meant. Unfortunately, I heard the radio version on a number of occasions in the leisure centre and it caused me offence on each one.

    This story is hilarious as I can laugh at it now, but it was certainly anything except that in the situation.

    As to whether my lyric is better than the original, I've put "no" as it was certainly not better at all when it caused, or contributed to, me suffering severe offence on every airing in that environment. However, really it is a "yes and no" as my lyric, which only occurs in the radio version of the song (and I've been careful to separate that out as a different song from the original version, it has a different impact, different effect), is better in certain other environments such as listening at home, entirely alone, in a circumstance in which I am not caused offence by swearing.

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