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    Latest Misheard Stories

    Artist: Statler Brothers

    Song: Eve

    The Story: Don't eat the fruit in the garden, Eden,, It wasn't in God's natural plan., You were only a rib,, And look at what you did,, To Adam, the father of Man.

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    Artist: Queens of the Stone Age

    Song: You Can't Quit Me Baby

    The Story: You smell like goat, I'll see you in hell

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    Artist: Starship

    Song: Sarah

    The Story: All the b***h had said, all been washed in black

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    Artist: Iron Maiden

    Song: The Prisoner

    The Story: And my blunt is my ho now

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    Artist: Pearl Jam

    Song: Jeremy

    The Story: At home, drawing pictures, Of mounds of tots, With ham on top

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    "Time - he flexes like a whore / Falls swanking to
    the floor, his trick is you & me, boy..."

    Artist: David Bowie
    Song: Time
    Real Lyric: "Time - he flexes like a whore / Falls WANKING to the floor, his trick is you & me, boy..."



    The story:

    Was riding the #83 bus back from Hackensack NJ to
    Jersey City after applying for a job selling (now
    long-defunct) CUE™ magazine door-to-door, & was
    reading the latest TV GUIDE™ listings w/ their
    back-pages gossip about upcoming shows & the
    announcement that U.S. stars' Martin Landau &
    Barbara Bain, husband & wife team seen weekly on
    "Mission Impossible", were in the U.K. along w/
    Canadian Barry Morse who was essentially star
    David Janssen's 'Herk Harvey stand-in' for 4 years
    on QM's "The Fugitive", to film a new as yet
    untitled sci-fi series, then flipping a few pages
    backward saw that David ↯B♂wie↯ fresh off of the
    "Aladdin Sane" (A lad, insane?) & the LP of cover
    versions, "Pinups" was to make an appearance on
    NBC-TV's "The Midnight Special" that Friday night
    on November (16) '73.
    (Landau, Bain & Morse show mentioned debuted
    Stateside w/ much hoopla in September 1975 as
    SPACE: 1999™, a Anglo-American contender to the
    strictly U.S. STAR TREK™)
    Was into like ALL aspects of science fiction,
    comics, mags, TV & movies, & NOW music!
    Well being 17 & all, ↯B♂wie↯ to me at the time
    was the artiste equivalent to Lennon & McCartney,
    Dylan, Jagger & Richards, etc., in songwriting
    skill, but also territories covered previously by
    Marc Bolan, Lou Reed, Iggy Pop, so this was a
    "must-see-TV" event, before NBC used that tag-line
    in the 1990s!
    And to top it all off, since 1969's "Space Oddity"
    ↯B♂wie↯ was the preeminent "Sci-Fi
    singer/songwriter", covering subject matter &
    going where NO man (?) had gone before, like "STAR
    TRECK (sic) in a leather jacket".
    That's ↯B♂wie's↯ own words on Warwick Hotel
    stationery describing "The Bewlay Bros." the last
    song on "Hunky Dory", and yes the very same hotel
    that The Beatles were at in their 1st U.S. visit,
    a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away —
    1964.
    LOOK™, is there LIFE™ on Mars♂? NEWSWEEK™ maybe??
    Well show came =ON= as scheduled, "The 1980 Floor
    Show" (a pun on Orwell's bO-Ok, whose estate B♂wie
    & MainMan™, his management, were in failed
    negotiations over to obtain the rights to as a
    stage-show) w/ The Troggs, Marianne Faithful &
    mysterious leering Amanda Lear (once Brian Jones'
    main-squeeze, perhaps even the source of The
    Stones' song, ♪...'round & 'round & 'round she
    goes, Lil' Miss Amanda Jones...♫?) o'er the stage,
    the 8th number sang by DB — "TIME", on the show
    had the lyric, ♫...falls swanking to the
    floor...♪, which was always **sumed by me to be
    the correct version, but y'know what they say
    about "assuming", well at least on TV's "The Odd
    Couple", as "Felix Unger" (Tony Randall) said:
    "When you 'assume', you make an 'ass' out of 'u'
    and of 'me'..."
    Sure enough, when attending the "Diam♦nd D♦gs
    T♦ur" months later in NYC's Madison Sq. Garden,
    July 19th 1974, 5 YEARS after the actual Moon
    landing (!) & heard him clearly enunciate
    ♪...falls WANKING to the floor...♫, which another
    BIG B♂wie fanatic there confirmed (he was
    approximately 6' 4½").
    He also performed the 1966 Eddie Floyd & Steve
    Cropper hit "Knock On Wood", less than a day after
    CBS' "Late Show" aired the 1954 Danny Kaye
    (another famous out-of-the-bottle redhead) comedy
    "Knock On Wood" — check July 19th/20th 1974 NYC
    Tri-State Metro Area TV GUIDE™ listings to confirm
    this for yourself!)
    "1954", "1964", "1966", "1973", "1980", "1990s",
    "LIFE™", "LOOK™", "NEWSWEEK™",
    "TIME"...it's all coming back to me now...in 2011.

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