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    Latest Misheard Stories

    Artist: Statler Brothers

    Song: Eve

    The Story: Don't eat the fruit in the garden, Eden,, It wasn't in God's natural plan., You were only a rib,, And look at what you did,, To Adam, the father of Man.

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    Artist: Queens of the Stone Age

    Song: You Can't Quit Me Baby

    The Story: You smell like goat, I'll see you in hell

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    Artist: Starship

    Song: Sarah

    The Story: All the b***h had said, all been washed in black

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    Artist: Iron Maiden

    Song: The Prisoner

    The Story: And my blunt is my ho now

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    Artist: Pearl Jam

    Song: Jeremy

    The Story: At home, drawing pictures, Of mounds of tots, With ham on top

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    High on a hill was a lonely goat turd
    Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
    Loud was the voice of the lonely goat turd
    Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

    Artist: Soundtracks
    Real Lyric: High on a hill was a lonely goatherdLay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hooLoud was the voice of the lonely goatherdLay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

    The story:

    I hated the film 'The Sound of Music' when I was kid. I lived in Pompey (Portsmouth). It was the sixties. Cinemas only had one screen in those days, usually a really big one. Way bigger than the hugest screen nowadays.

    Every summer holiday my parents would, amongst other things, take us to 'the pictures' to see 'a film'.

    There was limited choice of course. Each cinema naturally had a diffent programme and, in Pompey, there were plenty of cinemas to go to, so each year there was usually a film for we kids to go to see.

    But all this changed when in 1965. 'The Sound of Music" hit Pompey. That year my parents couldn't find a single cinema in Portsmouth showing anything other than that awful film 'The Sound of Music' featuring Julie Andrews.

    Suddenly our childhood hopes of a fun night out were destroyed by a soppy chick flick.

    All the cinemas in Portsmouth were contended by that awful film throughout the entire summer holidays.

    It wouldn't have been so bad if it was for only week or so. Sadly though the film was on for much longer (about 16 weeks). In fact, I think it unlikely that I would remember the situation more than forty years later if the situation hadn't affected me so much.

    Notwithstanding my admiration for Julie Andrews for her portrayal of 'Mary Poppins' however I somehow find myself unable to forgive her for ruining my Summer of 1965.

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