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    Latest Misheard Stories

    Artist: Statler Brothers

    Song: Eve

    The Story: Don't eat the fruit in the garden, Eden,, It wasn't in God's natural plan., You were only a rib,, And look at what you did,, To Adam, the father of Man.

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    Artist: Queens of the Stone Age

    Song: You Can't Quit Me Baby

    The Story: You smell like goat, I'll see you in hell

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    Artist: Starship

    Song: Sarah

    The Story: All the b***h had said, all been washed in black

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    Artist: Iron Maiden

    Song: The Prisoner

    The Story: And my blunt is my ho now

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    Artist: Pearl Jam

    Song: Jeremy

    The Story: At home, drawing pictures, Of mounds of tots, With ham on top

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    I went to Chinatown
    'way back in old Hong Kong
    To get some Egg Foo Yung
    And then I heard a gong

    Ling ting tong tried to sing that song
    Called Thai-Smoke'em-Buddha, eh
    Thai-Smoke'em-Boo
    Ling Ting Tong, he would never be wrong

    Artist: The Five Keys
    Real Lyric: I went to Chinatown'way back in old Hong KongTo get some Egg Foo YungAnd then I heard a gongLing Ting Tong tried to sing that songCalled Tie-ess-a mo-cum boo-die-ayTie-ess-a mo-cum booLing Ting Tong, he would never be wrongGo on and sing your song, a-Ling Ting TongAnd I looked aroundThe lights were going downAnd this is what I foundA back in Chinatown



    The story:

    Was living in a friend's art studio in '84 w/ my girlfriend- was between apts. due to 'con dough conversion' -& would sneak in there at night, 11 PM EST, to crash on the furniture after getting back from the daily grind in NYC- didn't want the landlord or tenants in the building to know that 'unauthorised persons' were living in their basement, & my bud be painting all night with the radio on & we'd play like 'Radio Roulette' & spin the dial after the music or whatever it was got dull.
    So like it was my turn to find something gOOd & I tuned it to WCBS-FM which was a NYC area 'oldies station' at that time, & this came on- now I never heard this as it came out like 1954/55 & was before my time as was born in '57 just short of the official start of the "Space Age".
    Well we laughed sooo HARD because when the cat sings his fake 'Chinese' lyrics, they all re(e)fer to marijuana in 1950s 'hip' patois: 'Thai', as in 'Thai-sticks', premium buds of seedless marijuana which were skewered on stems, several rows of string found in the stalk of the marijuana plant were then used to tie the marijuana to the stem and therefore, keep it in place, now scarce if not impossible to find; 'Smoke' = Pot; 'Buddha' another euphemism; 'Boo', an ancient term going back to the 1930s.
    Enhancing all this was the fact that we had some herbal remedy of our own at hand, so this was more profound y'know?
    Well we thought that these '50s doo-wop guys, The Five KEYS were one up on the '60s like Peter, Paul, &n Mary w/ "Puff The Magic Dragon", or even the Beatles w/ "Lucy In The Sky...etc.", as this was being sung openly without any suspicion or allusion to anything as the 'Chinese' lyrics were gibberish anyway, and if only they would've known in the grey-flannel, button-down world of the '50s, right?
    Even their name, "The Five KEYS", as in 'keys' meaning kilograms, it's ALL there...
    Years later in 1998, I heard another version by Bill Haley and the Comets recorded in 1968 w/ a different refrain, "Hi-Smokeum-Boom-Bah-Yay" & "Bing-Bang-Bong", as well as P. J. Proby's but they all deviate from the established lyric.
    What gives? I still dunno...
    Your guess is as good- no, BETTER -than mine;)

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    Comments

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    Hmmm...you may have something there, indeed as both of the vocal groups have the #FIVE as part of their names, and using obvious descriptive stoner largon: The Five KEYS, Jim Lowe & The HIGH Fives; marijuana plants are either 5 or 7, up to 9 leaf blades, so in response to your sleuthing: "By Jove 'Serendipitydoo', I think you've got it!"

    Betelgeuse May 13, 2012 10:16 am


    Thanks eeemcd! Admittedly had trouble with that "pompatus of love" line though.

    Betelgeuse May 11, 2012 1:24 pm


    Great story/comment - as a kid, I could imagine what a "Space Cowboy" might be, but needed some help on the "midnight toker" part. No, not as "subliminal" as the older lyrics. Old school, people powered radio - I miss you.

    eeemcd Sep 12, 2011 8:58 am


    BTW, Jim Lowe's 1956 45 r.p.m. "The Little Man In Chinatown" (Dot Records-78-15486) with its repeating verse and never told story, the flip 'B' Side of 'A' Side "Green Door" with a veiled reference to reefer smokers in Greenwich Village, "...green door what's that secret you're keepin'... there's the old piano and they play it hot behind the green door...don't know what they're doing but they laugh a lot behind the green door...wish they'd let me in so I could find out what's behind the green door...knocked once, tried to tell 'em I've been there..." both seem like follow-up 'answer song' to 1955's "Ling Ting Tong", wouldn't you agree?

    Serendipitydoo Aug 30, 2011 1:39 pm