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    Latest Misheard Stories

    Artist: Statler Brothers

    Song: Eve

    The Story: Don't eat the fruit in the garden, Eden,, It wasn't in God's natural plan., You were only a rib,, And look at what you did,, To Adam, the father of Man.

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    Artist: Queens of the Stone Age

    Song: You Can't Quit Me Baby

    The Story: You smell like goat, I'll see you in hell

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    Artist: Starship

    Song: Sarah

    The Story: All the b***h had said, all been washed in black

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    Artist: Iron Maiden

    Song: The Prisoner

    The Story: And my blunt is my ho now

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    Artist: Pearl Jam

    Song: Jeremy

    The Story: At home, drawing pictures, Of mounds of tots, With ham on top

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    We would die as a dove

    Artist: The Hooters
    Real Lyric: We were liars in love

    The story:

    Okay. So I was one of those kids that would always tape songs off the radio. This was back in the day when radios had really crappy reception and you had to manually tune them in with a dial, so my recordings varied in their clarity. I loved this song, and so I taped it off the radio. I always heard the lyrics as stated above... I had no idea what it meant, but I was pretty young and just accepted it as a grown-up phrase or euphemism and let it go at that.

    YEARS later, I'm out on a date with this guy that I'd been seeing for a while. He was really smart and funny and, to boot, a serious audiophile, a true music fan who knew tons and tons about every artist, popular and obscure. This song came on the radio, and I enthusiastically said, "OH I LOVE THIS SONG!!" and sang along, with gusto... with MY lyrics.

    I get to the offending lyric and sing it right out, without even thinking about it, and this guy suddenly looks at me like I have turned into the Creature from the Black Lagoon. He was mortally offended and did not hide his disdain for me.

    The evening became a giant turd. I never went out with him again.

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