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    Latest Misheard Stories

    Artist: Statler Brothers

    Song: Eve

    The Story: Don't eat the fruit in the garden, Eden,, It wasn't in God's natural plan., You were only a rib,, And look at what you did,, To Adam, the father of Man.

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    Artist: Queens of the Stone Age

    Song: You Can't Quit Me Baby

    The Story: You smell like goat, I'll see you in hell

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    Artist: Starship

    Song: Sarah

    The Story: All the b***h had said, all been washed in black

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    Artist: Iron Maiden

    Song: The Prisoner

    The Story: And my blunt is my ho now

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    Artist: Pearl Jam

    Song: Jeremy

    The Story: At home, drawing pictures, Of mounds of tots, With ham on top

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    Seventy-six trombones led the big parade
    With a hundred and ten cornets right behind.
    They were followed by rows and rows of a thousand Eskimos,
    Who were all of ev'ry shape and kind!

    There were copper bottom tympani and horse spittoons

    Artist: Meredith Wilson
    Song: 76 Trombones
    Real Lyric: Seventy-six trombones led the big paradeWith a hundred and ten cornets close at hand.They were followed by rows and rows of the finest virtuo-Sos, the cream of ev'ry famous band.Seventy-six trombones caught the morning sunWith a hundred and ten cornets right behindThere were more than a thousand reedsSpringing up like weedsThere were horns of ev'ry shape and kind.There were copper bottom tympani in horse platoonsThundering, thundering all along the way.Double bell euphoniums and big bassoons,Each bassoon having its big, fat say!

    The story:

    My mother's family is originally from Alaska, and from childhood, it seemed a given to her that River City, Iowa had a large, proud and diverse Inuit population who would of course be represented at any parade the town threw. That's how she sang it to me, and that's what I heard every time I watched the old musical.

    On the other hand, I was convinced that these Iowans had somehow trained their horses to spit into metal urns rather than in the street, and that between the clop of the horses' hooves and the sound of many horses using spittoons simultaneously, of course they went 'thundering all along the way'! That would be pretty damn loud, if rather hygienic...

    It was only recently, after a few beers and a rousing rendition of 76 Trombones at a family gathering that my mom and I looked up the original lyrics. And though we may have been hilariously wrong, we think our version is way, way better!

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    when I first heard this as a child I heard the line about Thundering thundering as "Fumfering, Fumfering among the leaves so green. I do not know why.

    agabus Jan 13, 2016 5:32 pm