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    Latest Misheard Stories

    Artist: Statler Brothers

    Song: Eve

    The Story: Don't eat the fruit in the garden, Eden,, It wasn't in God's natural plan., You were only a rib,, And look at what you did,, To Adam, the father of Man.

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    Artist: Queens of the Stone Age

    Song: You Can't Quit Me Baby

    The Story: You smell like goat, I'll see you in hell

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    Artist: Starship

    Song: Sarah

    The Story: All the b***h had said, all been washed in black

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    Artist: Iron Maiden

    Song: The Prisoner

    The Story: And my blunt is my ho now

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    Artist: Pearl Jam

    Song: Jeremy

    The Story: At home, drawing pictures, Of mounds of tots, With ham on top

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    Nothing east of December

    Artist: Kansas
    Real Lyric: Nothing equals the splendor

    The story:

    I had been wailing my version of these lyrics since I was 10, as I realized even at that age that it was an anthem that deserved to be belted in true arena-rock fashion. More than 20 years later, I was still giving it all I had, this time with my husband in the car on our way to a ski weekend. With iPod plugged in and cranked, we were singing out hearts out and when I completed the "Carry on, You will always remember, Carry on, Nothing east of December" lyrics, our duet crashed, and I had become a target for his silver-tongue of mockery.

    When I tried to convince my husband that I was singing it correctly (even saying things like, "Don't you understand? After December, there's nowhere else to go. Therefore it makes sense that there's nothing east of December. It's poetry. Besides, kick-ass rockers like Kansas wouldn't use a pansy word like "splendor" anyway.), he ribbed me mercilessly for months. And still does. Despite the constant, brutal attacks from friends and family, I refuse to sing it any other way. CARRY ON!

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