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    Latest Misheard Stories

    Artist: Statler Brothers

    Song: Eve

    The Story: Don't eat the fruit in the garden, Eden,, It wasn't in God's natural plan., You were only a rib,, And look at what you did,, To Adam, the father of Man.

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    Artist: Queens of the Stone Age

    Song: You Can't Quit Me Baby

    The Story: You smell like goat, I'll see you in hell

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    Artist: Starship

    Song: Sarah

    The Story: All the b***h had said, all been washed in black

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    Artist: Iron Maiden

    Song: The Prisoner

    The Story: And my blunt is my ho now

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    Artist: Pearl Jam

    Song: Jeremy

    The Story: At home, drawing pictures, Of mounds of tots, With ham on top

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    I believe that nudie magazines promote your self

    Artist: Savage Garden
    Song: Affirmations
    Real Lyric: I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem

    The story:

    By way of excuse, this was the first time I had
    listened to the new album, while I was tidying
    up the living room and the four lines prior to
    it had enough of a pollyanna vibe that I was
    expecting them to soon start taking the piss out
    of such gems as "Everyone's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)" by "Baz Luhrmann" back in the
    late 1990s. Nevertheless, what I heard didn't
    seem quite right with the following lyrics,

    I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

    I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
    I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
    I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
    I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye,

    so I indulged my anal-retentive side and checked
    the actual lyrics and grinned at the chaos
    apparently festering in my subconscious. Then I
    listened to the rest of the album and, for the
    most part, enjoyed it (without further mondegreens).

    A while later I felt somewhat vindicated with the
    release of a new album by The Proclaimers
    containing a nifty little song entitled
    "A Land Fit For Zeros," which featured, as a
    rallying call: "mediocrity is all."

    Aren't brain farts fun?


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