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    Latest Misheard Stories

    Artist: Statler Brothers

    Song: Eve

    The Story: Don't eat the fruit in the garden, Eden,, It wasn't in God's natural plan., You were only a rib,, And look at what you did,, To Adam, the father of Man.

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    Artist: Queens of the Stone Age

    Song: You Can't Quit Me Baby

    The Story: You smell like goat, I'll see you in hell

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    Artist: Starship

    Song: Sarah

    The Story: All the b***h had said, all been washed in black

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    Artist: Iron Maiden

    Song: The Prisoner

    The Story: And my blunt is my ho now

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    Artist: Pearl Jam

    Song: Jeremy

    The Story: At home, drawing pictures, Of mounds of tots, With ham on top

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    Hundred crispy soldiers marching out the door
    With a crock of Cheez-wiz rolling on the floor.

    Artist: Hymns
    Real Lyric: Onward Christian soldiers marching as to war.With the cross of Jesus going on before.

    The story:

    During the VietNam era, I had heard about napalm and naturally imagined burned-up GI's going to Heaven. It didn't really make any sense about the cheez-wiz, but then, a lot of church songs didn't make sense to me.
    Hearing my version made my mom laugh in church, so I kept it up until I was heard during a moment of silent prayer. My Mom whisked me out of there, under her arm as I finished an encore all the way up the long aisle... The biggest laugh I ever got!

    Now I teach it to my Sunday school students (but only AFTER they know the correct version.)

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