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    Latest Misheard Stories

    Artist: Statler Brothers

    Song: Eve

    The Story: Don't eat the fruit in the garden, Eden,, It wasn't in God's natural plan., You were only a rib,, And look at what you did,, To Adam, the father of Man.

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    Artist: Queens of the Stone Age

    Song: You Can't Quit Me Baby

    The Story: You smell like goat, I'll see you in hell

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    Artist: Starship

    Song: Sarah

    The Story: All the b***h had said, all been washed in black

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    Artist: Iron Maiden

    Song: The Prisoner

    The Story: And my blunt is my ho now

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    Artist: Pearl Jam

    Song: Jeremy

    The Story: At home, drawing pictures, Of mounds of tots, With ham on top

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    And a terrapin in a minibus

    Artist: Hymns
    Real Lyric: Et in terra pax hominibus

    The story:

    Towards the end of my first term in high school (aged 12), this venerable Christmas song became a regular feature of our morning assemblies.

    There were two problems. First, we new kids were never shown the written lyrics, so we had to figure them out by listening to the older kids singing at the back of the hall. Second, this old song is in latin, and none of us knew any latin.

    I don't think we got any of the words right, but one thing me and my friends all agreed on: there definitely was a terrapin in a minibus in the second line.

    We couldn't imagine what either the turtle or the bus had to do with Baby Jesus and the Nativity - but then a lot of things at that school didn't make sense.

    It was not until the following year we were given a hymn sheet with the correct lyrics, and I must admit that I was disappointed.

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