THE MISHEARD:

Shot by both sides, on the run to the outside lavatory

The story:

I only realised it was wrong when I bought a car with a really good stereo in it. I'd spent over 20 years picturing Howard Devoto, living in an old terraced house with no inside toilet in a slummy area of Manchester, it's late at night and he's desperate for a wee, but suspects there might be snipers waiting in the neighbours' yards. But when you gotta go, you gotta go, so he runs to the outside lavatory, the snipers pop up over the walls and start taking pot shots at him. Of course he escapes unscathed to tell the tale, because as anyone who's ever watched a film can tell you, baddies are notoriously bad shots!