THE MISHEARD:

I took a Luie Von/Van slugger to both headlights
slashed a hole in all four tires

The story:

I had the song stuck in my head the other day and was singing out loud, my sister was home at the time so I decided to ask her, because I knew that I was wrong but I had no idea what else she might have been saying in the song. so I asked my sister, she asked me which part so I said the lyrics to her.
after I said "Luie Van slugger" she burst out laughing and continued to laugh for about five minutes straight, it got to the point where she didn't look like she was laughing anymore. it looked more like when she was a little kid and throwing a tantrum. She refused to tell me what the real lyrics were so I looked online.