variously as "I ain't shucked a corn since I don't know when" and "I ain't looked at porn since I don't know when"

The story:

Wasn't embarrassing so much as confusing. Every time I listened to the song, I heard either the corn or porn version, and both seemed to fit well enough in context. I was finally fed up enough to look up the lyrics. I'm exceedingly glad that I didn't sing about porn in front of anyone.