She's been drinking and drowning slowly

The story:

unfortunately, i did ask the questions at the top, but then, i remembered that i made up the really funny story to go along with it, and it didnt make any sense, seeing as how there were big fish and other crazy stuff in it, so, yeah, i was singing it at swim practice and this kid next to me was like 'wha...?!? ugha hdkd' and made all these other tortured noises, and since the things for version being better are either yes or no, im going to do mine here better: far far better, convinced people: no, not even close, do i take interesting medication: yes, very very interesting