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    Latest Misheard Stories

    Artist: Statler Brothers

    Song: Eve

    The Story: Don't eat the fruit in the garden, Eden,, It wasn't in God's natural plan., You were only a rib,, And look at what you did,, To Adam, the father of Man.

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    Artist: Queens of the Stone Age

    Song: You Can't Quit Me Baby

    The Story: You smell like goat, I'll see you in hell

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    Artist: Starship

    Song: Sarah

    The Story: All the b***h had said, all been washed in black

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    Artist: Iron Maiden

    Song: The Prisoner

    The Story: And my blunt is my ho now

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    Artist: Pearl Jam

    Song: Jeremy

    The Story: At home, drawing pictures, Of mounds of tots, With ham on top

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    I wanna bite that hairnet speed trap, I wanna buy that hand so badly

    Artist: Elvis Costello
    Song: Radio, Radio
    Real Lyric: I want to bite the hand that feeds me, I want to bite that hand so badly



    The story:

    I was at my friend Owen's just this year, when he was home from University of Toronto. He was playing a Best Of compilation of Elvis's stuff, and among my favourites was Radio Radio. I asked what he thought Elvis meant by "hairnet speed trap", and he responded with the now-obligatory blank look. "Those lyrics are wrong, aren't they?" Owen continued with the blank look. "hairnet speed trap? What, do they stretch it accross the road and snag GTO's? WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND HERE?!" Sad, really, but I still think "hairnet speedtrap" had a certain Kerouac vibe to it.

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