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    Latest Misheard Stories

    Artist: Statler Brothers

    Song: Eve

    The Story: Don't eat the fruit in the garden, Eden,, It wasn't in God's natural plan., You were only a rib,, And look at what you did,, To Adam, the father of Man.

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    Artist: Queens of the Stone Age

    Song: You Can't Quit Me Baby

    The Story: You smell like goat, I'll see you in hell

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    Artist: Starship

    Song: Sarah

    The Story: All the b***h had said, all been washed in black

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    Artist: Iron Maiden

    Song: The Prisoner

    The Story: And my blunt is my ho now

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    Artist: Pearl Jam

    Song: Jeremy

    The Story: At home, drawing pictures, Of mounds of tots, With ham on top

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    "Here we come, walking down the street,
    we get the funniest lips from everyone we meet..."

    Artist: Monkees
    Real Lyric: "Here we come, walking down the street, we get the funniest looks from everyone we meet..."



    The story:

    Used to live right 'round the corner from a Mom &
    Pop shop, like an old-timey general store: creaky
    floorboards w/ sawdust, a pickle-barrel, fat-back
    bacon/salt-pork & hardtack, castor oil, goose-
    grease, chewing tobaccy, ROCK candy, & lots of
    other essentials you just couldn't live without in
    the 19th century.
    In 07029, in 1967?

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    Misheard is:

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    Yes, don't know what happened as it is abridged, truncated, yet when originally posted was whole? Puzzling... As per your request, the rest of the true story: "Used to live right 'round the corner from a Mom & Pop shop, like an old-timey general store: creaky floorboards w/ sawdust, a pickle-barrel, fat-back bacon/salt-pork & hardtack, castor oil, goose- grease, chewing tobaccy, ROCK candy, & lots of other essentials you just couldn't live without in the 19th century. In 07029, in 1967? It was run by an elderly couple, Tony & Katy who spoke broken 'Inglish' & actually lived in the back room w/ a hot-plate, sleeping on a well-worn out folding bed — which wasn't a "Murphy®"! Among the stock in their Old World curiosity shop they had all sorts of novelty candy foodstuffs, 'button candy' "Pixy Stix®", "Hippy Sippy®", "Topps®" & "Double Bubble®" gum, the REAL Chunky®", 'jawbreakers', tubular wax cylinders full of weird tasting neon-flavored liquids, & MY faves WAX buck teeth, WAX moustaches, & WAX lips. "House Of Wax Teeth, Moustaches, & Lips"©. Why just with those 3 items you could get into R-rated 'adult' movies, which we had just down the block on the weekends, but you could only use any 2 of the 3 at a time, never all 3, so you could have the wax mustache & teeth, or the mustache & lips, but NEVER the lips w/ the teeth. Boy that box-office ticket guy at the Warner, what a maroon, he fell for 'em all! Collected all of 'em, wore a few, but didn't really 'eat' any of 'em as wintergreen flavored paraffin wax just isn't MY bag you know, not then & certainly not now! YECCH! Well as you already know by my other kissthisguy posts I (like most of you) was (and is) a mass-media drenched TV child, & can remember mostly verbatim the flotsam & Jetson™ of my youth, and can remember these vividly & in great detail, as if it was yesterday — cosmically speaking it was. "I Was A Mass-Media Drenched TV Child"©! Especially the ad jingles, pop ditties, & TV themes...∞ So here I am walking down the street in 1967, getting the funniest lO-Oks from everyone I meet, 'cause I'm wearing a candy wax mustache w/ candy wax lips, & actually thimk that the Monkees® are singing 'bout my favorite edible (?) disguise as coincidentally (??) part of their NBC-TV shoe's theme, "Here we come, walking down the street, we get the funniest lips from everyone we meet..." Was I or wasn't I a 10½ year old egocentric dope, or what? (Don't answer.) What was I thinking, that smitten Monkees®' fans would offer the 'faux 4our' wax lips, of differing shapes, sizes, color & quality, to get the attention of "Biff™", "Dicky™", "Fred™" & "Suds™" (the Monkees® originally proposed monikers!)???? To compound the confusion, 'Matty Mattel™' had an extremely popular boy-toy at the time called the "Thing-Maker"® which was just a revamp of their earlier "Vac-U-Form" machine, but instead of heating plastic sheets to form objects w/ a vacuum, this new version used heated metal molds (aluminum?) which had mostly either bugs & spiders, "Creepy-Crawlers®" or the "Monster- Maker®" disguise kit with fake eyeballs, scars, mustaches...and lips! This time the scheme was to pour colored vinyl plastic, "Plasti-Goop®" into the molds & heat the wretched stuff until it thermoset, cured by the heat of the machine's little 'baking tray'. Great FUN! So between the wax & vinyl lips, & moi being a stupid 10½ year ol' kid (well what did I know?) a confluence of all this made a 'mondegreen happening'(in late '60s parlance) an au naturel. Simply \S/üper!" Thanks for your request!

    Betelgeuse Aug 30, 2011 3:14 pm


    Hey Beetlejuice! That's it? What happened to the rest of your story after "In 07029 in 1967"? Want to read it if possible.

    Serendipitydoo Aug 30, 2011 12:49 pm